An Incurable AchePosted: May 2, 2013
Boredom, emptiness, sadness, regret, depression, remorse………in other words an aching soul. Something I suffer from. Sometimes I even forget it’s a part of me. Right up until it comes crashing down with a such a force; anxiety washes over me. No warning, not a dark cloud in the sky- nothing. Nothing to warn of the storm thrashing in my chest. An unbreakable desire to do more to be MORE. What more is? I have no idea. I try to think of what it is i need to do, what I crave but there’s nothing I can come up with to ease the tortured pieces spinning uncontrollably within. I try to grasp them, just to hold them still long enough for me to put them carefully into place.
For now the yearning, the desire, my ambition is just too much for me to contain. Too much to handle all at once. The focus and determination needed to break through the overwhelming surge of possibilities is more than I can muster. That’s hard for me to admit but I’ve got to start somewhere, one step at a time.